Flaming Prods

For many tourists the highlight of their visits to Florence is the Duomo. Officially, it’s called Santa Maria del Fiore. The Duomo is right across the street from our quite nice rented apartment at #6 Piazza dei Duomo, if you’re using Google Earth. I don't mean the Duomo’s around the corner. I mean I look out my bedroom window right at its north wall. But the street is wide, so the window frames a substantial view of what is a massive church. It is 86 stone steps up from the doorway of this 200-year-old building to our top floor apartment. No elevator, but we knew that. Later in the day those 86 steps will seem like nothing.

A digression about coffee. Sometimes in busy Italian places – central Florence is wildly busy – there are coffee bars two and three to a block. It’s way more expensive close to the important sights like the Duomo, the Uffizi Gallery and the Pitti Palace. Way less in the neighborhoods. But even at its most expensive it’s less than at Starbucks.

Short seminar: The joke about Starbucks is that it’s a nice place to go to get a little coffee with your milk. That is, Starbucks gives you one crappy, over-roasted shot in a 12-ounce latte. It’s all milk! Go to a real American independent coffee house (Coffee Emporium is a good example) and you’ll get two shots in a 12-ounce latte – for the same price. Both the digression and the seminar are over.

There are 463 ancient stone steps to the top of the Duomo’s dome. 463 steps up in an extremely cramped ever-narrowing stairway. It wasn't an easy climb. But the payoff at the top was worth it. I think the Duomo climb and the view may be found on You Tube.

The massive interior fresco on the dome at the Duomo in Florence features the Last Judgment. (On a previous visit I read the name of the fresco too fast and thought it was the Last Supper with a much larger guest list.) But it is meant to depict the last judgment.

At two points visitors are routed onto circular interior balconies for a really up close and impressive look at the domed ceiling.

At the top of the fresco is heaven; no surprises there. Looks pretty boring to me. The middle layers show royalty, Church hierarchy and rich patrons of the arts from the time. The bottom circle of the fresco shows the artist's idea of that place where Stop, Drop and Roll doesn't put out the fire .... hell.

Among the countless grotesqueries of hell that are shown, there is a sinner in hell getting a ..... Some of my grandkids are reading this so I must go gently here. (I don’t care about your grandkids.)

A softer way of saying what I was about to say: Among the countless grotesqueries that are shown, there is a sinner getting a flaming incendiary device inserted into his nether region, while in the netherworld.

But the real reason for the climb is the take-your-breath-away 360 degree view. Many at the very top, outside, stayed way back from the railings. Everyone looked.

Another digression. Now that I have Internet I can catch up on stuff and tap into the web’s research power. So what did I do first? OK, second. I Googled “New Jersey Housewives,” because I missed the second of the two reunion shows! Tell me, was Danielle's hug with Jacquelyn truly that embarrassingly long?

After the Duomo we decided to visit the Pitti Palace area and go into the Boboli Gardens there. But first, lunch. Here’s a rule of travel worldwide – the more you spend, the more isolated you are from the locals. Food near the touristy areas is usually not very good, rather expensive, and often served with a sneer. So I flogged our small group to walk way past the gardens and into a non-tourist neighborhood, where we found a wonderful restaurant – Cafe Petrarca, #6/r Piazzale di Porta Romana. By 1pm it was jammed with buzzing locals. In fact, we got stares simply because we were obviously tourists. We ate wonderful Italian food at about half of what we’ve been generally paying, and got about twice the atmosphere.

Next was the Boboli Gardens. We worked our way to the top for another spectacular view of Florence and the surrounding hills. At one point, while we sat for a short rest, Robin and Wendi were looking at a beautiful cloud formation and each said what it looked like to her. Then Jack said, “Looks to me like a sinner getting a flaming incendiary device inserted into his nether region, while in the netherworld.”

PHOTO NOTE: Jack shot this from a way-high-up inside the dome balcony. Hell didn't make it into the photo.