Risky Behavior in New York

I'm just back from a four-day stay in New York City with my well-off brother Jim - often referred to as the smart Galvin - who has a place on Manhattan's East Side. The E and S are in caps because it's a very upscale part of town.

Often, people who travel far from their homes, use the distance and the anonymity to do some risky things. And I'm not talking just sex. Although risky sex comes to mind first. But hang-glinding, black-market money exchanges, alcohol and drugs, and just choosing to wander down a dangerous street can all be risky.

Before I tell you which risky behavior I chose - actually I invented a new risk - here's how to get from LaGuardia Airport to almost anywhere in Manhattan for $2.25.

The M60 MTA bus stops at all the LaGuardia terminals. There's never more than a few minutes wait. I came in on Delta. Inside the Delta terminal near the exit to the buses was a newspaper stand that sells Metro cards. I bought a discounted five-ride card for a little over $10. I could have used $2.25 in exact change on the bus, if I didn't need the five rides.

Walked out to the bus. That M60 bus wanders through Queens, across the bridge into Manhattan and then east to west across 125th street. A couple of the M60's Manhattan stops along 125th connect with most north-south subways. I got off at 125th and Lexington Avenue. Walked a half a block and transferred, using the same card, to a stop and a subway that let me off a few blocks from my brother's place. Total time, including the walk to Jim's, was a leisurely one hour and thirty minutes. Cost was a little under $2.25.

A metro card trick. The card keeps track of transfers. You have an hour (maybe it's two) to get on another MTA subway or bus after departing the first one. But the computers are smart. So if you take a subway from mid-town and travel south to pick something up in a store, and then head back uptown on the same subway line, the computer knows you're not really transferring. You're doing a round trip, and you get dinged for two rides. But you can outsmart the computers. If you go down on the subway and back on the bus, it's one ride. Enjoy that tip, at least until they close that loophole.

Risky behavior. I didn't go to New York in search of some exotic sexual adventure. I don't drink or gamble. There's no hang-gliding on Manhattan that I know of. And the last time I engaged in a dangerous black-market money exchange was in West Africa, and I'll never do that again. But I came up with something new.

I went to the Sak's Fifth Avenue flagship store. Took the escalator to the sixth floor. (Not a lot of security around up there.) Then I found the escalator that comes down from the seventh floor. I bent over the moving handrail at the bottom and let it roll by, with my tongue pressed against it. Risky enough for you?

The Cincinnati Enquirer Wouldn't Publish My Letter.

I really do understand why the Cincinnati Enquirer wouldn't publish a letter that seems to advocate murder. Even so, I gave it a try.

Thinking Large On Guns

Gun issues are back in the news (“Obama steers clear of action on gun restrictions,” March 16). And, naturally, the National Rifle Association’s Wayne LaPierre had something to say on the topic.

It’s my opinion that both men have failed to “think large” on this complicated and contentious national safety issue.

Unlike them, I think large. Here’s an idea for a law that will stop violence and crime throughout our society, no matter many guns we all own. We could enact the law in Ohio, perhaps with Cincinnati taking a leadership position, then sit back and enjoy watching the rest of the 50 states embrace it.

Simply stated, the law would allow all Ohioans one no-crime murder. That’s right. We should de-criminalize a FIRST killing. “Wait,” you’re thinking, “Our state would drown in murders.” Not so!

Under this law, murders would stop. How? Because we would all save our freebie murder for when we really, really, really need it. The fact is, we would probably never even use it. Not only would this law reduce, even stop, violence. It would return us to a vastly more civil and polite society. Who among us would yell at a customer service representative from, perhaps, the cable company, when that phone rep could be at our house in twenty minutes with a shotgun?

Is there a student anywhere who would dream of challenging a professor on some obscure aspect of Elizabethan literature, when the professor may decide at that very moment to cash in her freebie and use the Glock in her bag?

What husband would refuse to go to a party just because the Reds are on TV, knowing that his wife has easy access to the chainsaw in the garage?

Would you toss a finger at that man who just cut you off with a no-signal lane-change on Glenway Avenue, when that huge SUV he’s driving can be instantly turned into a lethal weapon?

Let me end with a family example. Let’s say you’re having a bad day. You feel frustrated, irritable. You catch your child eating that last piece of cake you’ve saved for yourself. It’s a minor infraction, but you over-react and ground the child for a week. With this law in place, you’d think twice about that grounding, knowing your little darling could burst into your bathroom and toss a plugged-in radio into your bath while you’re in it.

A Volleyball Proposal

You may enjoy this stupid idea. I emailed the proposal below to a group of players who play volleyball on Monday nights in Cincinnati. It was in reaction to the email at the very bottom here. Maybe there's something in my proposal that indoor and outdoor players everywhere can use.

From: Jerry Galvin
Date: January 1, 2011 7:24:27 PM EST
To: The-Cincinnati-Pick-Up-Sports-League-list@meetup.com
Subject: Skill Levels For Monday Night Volleyball

I'd like to share some thoughts with all of you on how we can GUARANTEE that the level of play on Monday nights in Madisonville is appropriately competitive. I am willing to round up a panel of volleyball experts to evaluate the players. I'm just spitballing here, but I'd try to get the coaches from Ursuline Academy, UC, Xavier and NKU to evaluate and assign skill levels to each applicant player. I'd have Ursuline's Jeni Case lead the panel, since she's far and away the best volleyball coach in the proposed group. The coaches would rank players on essential skills - passing, setting and hitting, but would adjust for position players who may lack one specific skill but excel in another. Foot speed and reaction times would also be tested and incorporated into each player's evaluation.

As we all know, attitude is crucial in volleyball, and a truly competitive attitude can lift a player to levels of success that exceed the player's apparent skills. Accordingly, there should also be a panel of psychologists and psychiatrists to evaluate applicants' attitude, competitive spirit and overall mental health. If a player - no matter how skilled - has Asperger's Syndrome and posses no noticeable social skills, does that player belong in a Meet-Up league? Of course not! Still brainstorming, I envision the attitude panel meeting candidates only after their basic skills are examined and approved. Since I enjoy good mental health, I have no contacts among shrinks. So suggestions are welcome.

Players approved first by the skills panel and then the mental health panel, would meet one last minor challenge before being unconditionally approved for playing Monday night volleyball in Madisonville .... a Serenity Counselor. I've seen some contentious exchanges on Monday nights, and a higher level of serenity is now needed if the Monday program is to survive. I imagine counselors who would meet players in group settings for free-wheeling discussions restricted to the topics of religion, politics and social justice. Opinions on those topics quickly turn ugly when discussed with no controls. That toxic topic brew will surely cause uncontrolled emotions to surface in group. The counselors would initiate the discussions and then sit back and observe. The counselors' only duty is to eavaluate the serenity of the players and report any unsuitable applicants to Steve M for rejection.

I'm not trying to be controlling; just running these ideas up a flagpole to see if anyone salutes. Your thoughts?

THE EMAIL THAT SPARKED JERRY'S PROPOSAL:

On Jan 1, 2011, at 1:13 PM, Steve M wrote:

This message is for all competitive volleyball players. There has been a lot of contention and disagreement with Monday volleyball lately and I am stepping in to make an executive decision on the matter. Starting Jan 10th Alex will be the new host for this event in my absense. I want to thank Paul for his service as host over the past couple months. Things will not change drastically: 2 games on 2 courts, winner vs loser, first set of teams will be create your own, subsequent will be either by counting off or picking, if not enough players for 2 courts a determination will be made on whether to have refs, subs, or a smaller side game. The host volunteers to play on the small court in these cases and will ask for others. If no volunteers it will go by rsvp order or sign-in. A minimum standard will still be enforced and technically will still be competitive and by the rules. I understand some people may not like these changes, and others will be relieved. Keep in mind this group is one of the few of its kind in Cincinnati and many of you have take advantage of it to stay fit, make new friends, and overrall continue to play volleyball competitively. Please refrain from any negative comments or remarks. Have a happy new year! Regards, Your Organizer Steve M.